


mourning

by sunflowerpeachie



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Character Death, Dead Castiel (Supernatural), F/M, Grief/Mourning, Sad Dean Winchester, Sad Jack Kline, Sad Sam Winchester, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-20
Updated: 2020-03-20
Packaged: 2021-03-01 04:00:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,931
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23229016
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunflowerpeachie/pseuds/sunflowerpeachie
Summary: Cas dies and Conan Winchester (Sam and Dean's half sister) mourns.
Relationships: Castiel/OC
Kudos: 1





	mourning

**Author's Note:**

> First of all, I hope you enjoy!  
> Secondly, I have not given up on my other fic! I'm just a bit blocked at the moment and don't really have any motivation, but I will get it done!

As she turned around, a triumphant smile on her face after killing three demons on her own, Conan froze when she saw Cas. He was on the floor with Crowley standing over him, angel blade in his hand. Face bloody, Castiel struggled to kick Crowley off of him with no luck. Knowing he wasn't going to make it, Cas looked over his friends, his family one last time.His eyes landed on Conan who stood frozen on the spot, a look of horror on her face, and he smiled his last smile at her. As the king of Hell brought the blade down on Castiel's heart, Conan screamed bloody murder. She launched herself at Crowley and knocked him to the ground, making the blade tumble from his hand in the process. Holding her demon blade in both hands high abover her head, she brought it down as hard and painfully as she could. A feeling of bitter triumph overwhelmed her until she remembered the dead angel lying next to her. She crawled over to Cas' corpse and gently grabbed his face between her hands.  
"Cas?" she whispered. "Cas?" she asked again with a sob. "Please wake up. Please."   
She took his hand in hers and held it tight, tears forming in her eyes and rapidly streaming down her face. She couldn't even begin to explain the pure agony and heartbreak she was feeling. The world was falling apart around her and there was nothing she could do stop it. She let out an anguished cry and finally let her tears fall freely as her head came to rest on his chest. She had been so stupid. The one person she had loved, truly loved, since her first love's death, was also dead. And he didn't even know. He never knew that Conan got butterflies in her stomach whenever he came into the room. He never knew that she had nightmares about him dying and woke up crying most nights or that she doodled his name in hearts when her brothers weren't home like a little schoolgirl with a crush. But this wasn't a crush. She was in love, and she hadn't had the balls to tell him. A renewed wave of sobs racked her body as she realized she would never be able to tell Castiel she loved him. He would never hear them words come out of her mouth, filled with passion and tenderness.  
"Cas? Cas I-I love you, okay? I love you and I'm so sorry I never told you that before. I love you so friggin' much and," her voice cracked and, trembling, she ran a hand through the angel's hair. "you have to wake up. Wake up! Cas please. I just-I need you to wake up," she begged.  
"Connie-" Sam started as he tried to gently pull his sister away.  
"Leave me alone Sam! Please. I just need him to wake up. I need him to wake up Sam. Please."   
Bawling,she finally let Sam lift her up and wrap her in a great bear hug.  
"He's dead," she cried hysterically. "He's dead Sam. He's never coming back. I can't-I can't deal with that. We have to get him back. Please."  
"Shhh. I know," said Sam, voice tight. "I know it hurts. You're gonna be fine. We're gonna take care of you, okay? We're gonna help you get through this."  
"I don't think I can. I got through this once, I can't do it again. It hurts so bad Sammy."  
"I know," said Sam as he sadly looked over at Dean.  
Having finished up with the last demon, Dean watched his brother and sister from afar. He was heartbroken. His bestfriend was gone, just like that. Gone. He stood there for a moment, trying to stay strong, not letting the tears fall. He took a moment to mourn the death of his best friend and then pushed it all down. He cleared his throat and limped over to Sam and Conan. His eyes fluttered to Cas' body before he dragged them back up to look at Sam, anguished. He then hugged Conan from the other side, effectively trapping her in a brother sandwich.   
Sniveling, with the occasional sob, Conan let her brothers warmth, their comforting smell and arms wrapped tight around her calm her down.  
"Let's go home," Dean muttered. Throwing Cas over his shoulder, he let Sam and Conan pass before him, so they wouldn't have the grim sight of Cas' lifeless body swinging back and forth behind his back.  
"Conan?" Sam called knocking on his sister's locked door, but he got no answer. "Come on Conan, it's been three weeks."  
"Go away," Conan croaked.  
"You need to eat. You've had like one piece of bread a day. It's not good for you."  
"I don't care!" his sister called back.  
"Come on little sister. Let me take care of you. It's not good for you to be alone right now." Sam sighed, ready to give up and go back to research when he heard the key turn in the lock. Conan opened the door slightly and looked up at Sam with puffy eyes.   
"When was the last time you slept Connie?" Sam inquired worriedly.  
Ignoring her brother, she passed a hand over her eyes and sent him a deadly look. "If I eat will you leave me alone?"  
Deciding it was best to lie, Sam agreed and lead Conan to the kitchen. When they arrived, Dean was making chocolate chip pancakes.   
"Oh," he smirked. "So you're not dead."  
Conan slipped into one of the seats, looking scared and fragile. Pushing down her sadness, she fidgeted in her seat. "Pancakes for dinner?" she asked. "Didn't your mom teach you any better?"  
"Yeah well, mom wasn't here long enough to teach us much," he responded, clearing his throat.  
"Yeah, I guess so," Conan answered, guilt buiding up in her stomach. "Sorry."  
"Hello!" Jack exclaimed, lifting his hand up in a motionless wave as he walked into the room. "Conan! You're here!"  
"Yeah Jacky, I'm here." Conan smiled and patted the seat next to her, motioning Jack to sit next to her. He pulled his chair closer to hers and let the girl lay her head on his shoulder. He loved Conan. She was like the big sister he never had. She took care of him, fed him, comforted him. In some ways, she reminded him of his mother whom he knew loved him deeply. He had missed Conan dearly the past few weeks and felt lost without her telling him what was right or wrong, or just teaching him about life, as he had much to learn still.   
"How are you?"  
"Great," Conan replied bitterly.  
"I miss him too," Jack sighed. "If it helps, I'm pretty sure he loved you too."  
Conan's heart clenched in pain and she felt tears build up in her eyes as her throat tightened.  
"It really doesn't."  
"Oh," Jack looked at Sam in confusion. "I'm sorry. I thought-"  
"I know Jack. It's fine. I've got to get over it some day haven't I?"  
"We could try and bring him back! Sam and Dean have been looking! Haven't you? I'm sure we'll find a way."   
Conan's head jerked up and she looked from Sam to Dean hopefully.   
"Jack," Dean warned. "You weren't supposed to say, remember?"  
"I know but we always find a way. Maybe Rowena could help? Or God? Even if we have to ask my father I'm sure we could-"  
Sam looked at Jack and Conan sadly. "He's gone. For good. We've searched. We've asked everyone we know and everyone they know. We even considered trying to let Michael out of the cage but it's way too risky. I'm sorry. He's gone."  
Dean turned to cooker off and stomped out of the room, presumably to his room.  
"Are you sure you tried every way possible?" Conan asked Sam quietly.  
"Spells, deals with demons and angels. He's gone Connie. I'm sorry."  
"But we always find a way!" Jack stood angrily and followed Dean out of the room, heading to his own room.  
After a moment of silence, Conan slowly stood up and walked over to Sam who was looking at her, pain and sadness evident in his eyes. "Thank you for trying," she muttered as she wrapped her arms around her big brother's stomach (BECAUSE SHE SMALL AS FUcK). After a short but comforting hug, Conan left her brother alone in the kitchen to go find her other big brother.   
"Hey big bro." She smiled sadly and sat next to him on the bed. Dean was ferociously cleaning his favorite gun, the first one their father ever gave him. They sat there in silence for a while, Dean polishing his gun until he could see his own face on it. He sighed angrily and threw down onto the bed.  
"What do you want Conan?" he asked bitterly.   
"Oh," Conan moved back in shock, her throat closing up as she felt tears coming. "I'm sorry. I thought you might want some company. I'll leave you alone."  
As she stood up, Dean caught hold of her wrist and pulled her back down. He wrapped his big arms around her, resting his head on hers. "I'm sorry. I didnt mean to. It's just- Cas."  
Conan squeazed her eyes shut as her chin trembled and throat tightened even more. She could see it so clearly still. Castiel on the ground. Comprehension in his eyes. He knew he wasn't going to make it. He chose me to be the last thing he ever saw,she thought. Why me? Before she knew it, she was bawling her eyes out and she and Dean held onto eachother tightly. She even felt a suspicious wet patch on her head.   
Sam and Jack must have heard her crying, seeing as they ran in a few seconds later. They quickly joined the hug and made a big heap of comfort. Not one of them didn't shed a tear.   
After they had all calmed down a bit, they sat in a line on Dean's bed, waiting. For what, they didn't know. Maybe they didn't want to disturb this cathartic moment. Maybe, knowing that each of them had had a piece of their heart ripped out of their chests comforted them, and they didn't want to let go of that comfort just yet. Or maybe, just maybe, they knew that they had to stick together, that something big was about to happen.  
They stuck together all night after that. They didn't want to leave eachother, still had a feeling something was about to happen. And that thing did happen. At five past eleven that night, they were surrounding the TV, a beer in each of their hands, when the Men of Letter's bunker alarm went off. They jumped up from their seats and turned to the entrance. Sam and Dean had guns in their hands, Jack's eyes were gold and Conan had slipped out her knife from her sleeve. The door crashed open and the group looked up to the figure standing behind the barrier.  
"I lost my key in the empty. I'll repair that."  
"Couldn't you have knocked?" Dean said as he gapped up at the person who had just destroyed their reinforced door.   
"I did not think about that. Again, my apologies."  
No one except the figure had even noticed Conan leave her spot and run up the stairs. She jumped onto him and he caught her in his arms, stumbling back a bit with the impact.   
"Cas," she breathed into his ear.


End file.
